Still sick with green goo flowing freely from my throat and nostrils. Bright green like a tomato on it's way to adulthood. I think this is god's way of telling me to get off my fat lazy ass and get something done with my life. Skipped work again today. Boss will murder me. I can already feel his hands gripping my throat tightly as I get to work on Monday or Tuesday, depending on what shifts he has prepared for me. I can feel my eyes popping out as I try to squeal a "Help!" while his hands wrap tighter and tighter until sight fades from view and black dots take over. At this time I will whip out my freshly oiled sword and slash his arms off and feed them to the special guests who may or may not arrive. Nevertheless, he will be eaten, and all evidence of his death will be defecation by the time the cops find out he is no longer with us. I will never be caught as I will have skipped the city by then and will have started myself a new life in Hermanus with my little sister who left me 2 weeks ago. I will share her matchbox apartment and miniature bed until she ends up ending my life with a smash on the head with one of those bottles of wine I so kindly gave her.

The end.